Kingsley Amis's Girl, 20

Kingsley Amis (1922-1995) was at one time a very big deal indeed in the literary world. He now seems to have fallen very much out of fashion which is a great pity. Among other things he was one of the great comic writers, at his best the equal of Evelyn Waugh. Kingsley Amis also had the knack of pleasing both critics and the book-buying public.

Girl, 20 was published in 1971, to considerable critical acclaim.

The narrator is 33-year-old music critic Douglas Yandell but the book is dominated by the larger-than-life 54-year-old conductor Sir Roy Vandervane. Roy is both appalling and fascinating. He has achieved success and is a well-known public figure although the suspicion does attach itself to him that perhaps he has never lived up to his early promise and he has never quite reached the top rank as a conductor. He is a champagne socialist, an inveterate liar and an outrageous hypocrite. He has been a poor husband and a dismal father to his three children.

Douglas likes Roy but disapproves of him. Douglas is serious minded and fairly conventional in outlook and despises Roy’s political posturing.

Now Roy’s wife Kitty wants Douglas’s help. She fears that Roy has embarked on another of his “goes” this being her term for his affairs with younger women. He has had a long series of “goes” with progressively younger women. Kitty has at one time been one of his “goes” and she had succeeded in stealing him from his first wife. She fear that sooner or later one of these girls will steal Roy away from her for good.

Douglas becomes embroiled in Kitty’s plottings and in Roy’s. Roy has a way of manipulating people to do what he wants them to do. Even when you know what he is up to, and Douglas is most certainly aware, somehow you get sucked into his schemes anyway.

There are countless complications. There’s Douglas’s girlfriend Vivienne. There’s nothing serious between them but she suits him. There’s Roy’s eldest daughter Penny, whom Douglas tried to seduce a couple of years earlier. There’s Penny’s boyfriend.

And there’s Roy’s increasing involvement in hare-brained political activities. Roy is in danger of making a fool of himself in multiple ways. Douglas feels he has to save Roy from himself. That is not going to be easy and may prove to be impossible.

Amis was a great comic writer and this is a very funny book. It’s perhaps a satire but if so Amis has a large collection of targets in his sights.

I think it’s important not to fall into the trap that so many readers today fall into, of assuming that the narrator’s opinions coincide precisely with the author’s. Douglas Yandell is what would later come to be known as a “young fogey” - a young intellectual who ostentatiously adopts old-fashioned attitudes and outlooks and aesthetic tastes. Douglas is also an intellectual snob. His field is music and he has nothing but contempt for current pop music but this contempt extends to all 20th century music, including Mahler! Amis may have had some such tendencies but it would be a mistake to assume that Douglas is merely an authorial mouthpiece.

Douglas is saddened by Roy’s desperate attempts to ingratiate himself with the younger generation. Roy is certainly an absurd figure, but Douglas is somewhat absurd as well.

And while he disapproves of Roy’s womanising that doesn’t stop Douglas from doing his best to get into Roy’s daughter Penny’s pants. He is a bit of a hypocrite as well. Perhaps Douglas mostly disapproves not of Roy’s womanising, but of the clumsiness with which he goes about it.

Douglas despises Roy as a champagne socialist. Amis himself was at one time a communist. From the mid-50s onwards he moved steadily towards much more conservative views (bearing in mind that such words had totally different meanings in 1971) but what makes Roy ridiculous is the shallowness and opportunism of his views.

Amis cannot be accused of having a limited stereotypical view of women. The female characters cover a broad spectrum. Kitty is neurotic and manipulative. Vivienne is basically a nice girl. Penny is a bit of a mess but given the utter chaos of the Vandervane household that’s hardly surprising. Sylvia, the object of Roy’s lusts, is a horror but she’s young so she has some excuse.

Girl, 20 is definitely takes an acerbic view of the emerging hippie culture, but Amis’s views of the arty-intellectual elite are every bit as acerbic.

This is a very very funny book by one of the four great humorous writers of the 20th century (the others being P.G. Wodehouse, Evelyn Waugh and Norman Lindsay). Very highly recommended.

Michael Crichton's Zero Cool

Zero Cool is one of the early thrillers written by Michael Crichton under the name John Lange. It was published in 1969, the same year in which Crichton hit the big time with The Andromeda Strain (his first novel published under his own name).

Crichton qualified as a medical doctor in 1969. He never practised but his time at medical school was certainly not wasted. His enthusiasm for medicine, science and technology is obvious in all his books.

The hero of Zero Cool, Dr Peter Ross, is a young American radiologist. He has just qualified as has rewarded himself with a month-long vacation in Spain. He has been told that the beaches in Spain are knee-deep in very attractive very friendly girls. This should be a very pleasant holiday.

He meets a very nice girl indeed almost straight away. Angela is an English stewardess.

Then Peter is accosted by a very agitated Spaniard who warns him not to perform the autopsy. Peter has no idea what the guy is talking about.

And then he is approached by the Carrinis. They tell him a sad story that their eldest brother has been shot and killed and his dying wish is to be buried in the United States (the country from which he was deported some years earlier). But an autopsy must be carried out and they want Peter to perform it. Coming on top of the warning of the day before the mention of an autopsy makes Peter very nervous. He refuses. He is also puzzled. He is a radiologist. He is not even qualified to perform autopsies.

He performs the autopsy, more or less at gunpoint. The autopsy includes one very unusual feature.

Karin, the nurse who assisted at the autopsy, claims to have something to tell him that he needs to know.

Then he is set up and to avoid arrest takes refuge in the first hotel room he comes to where he is helped out by an almost naked blonde. She wants him to sell her information that he doesn’t have.

Things slowly get weirder. He meets the Professor, a very crazy guy. The tall American, Tex, is a bit crazy as well. And he hasn’t met the count yet. There are at least three separate groups and they all want something but Peter has no idea what it is. Karin did offer him a clue. It involves Mexico, and Cortes. The more Peter figures out the stranger it seems.

There’s plenty of action along the way and Peter gets beaten up, kidnapped, tortured, brainwashed and arrested. The plot has lots of twists and double-crosses and Peter realises he can’t trust any of these crazies. There are some fine imaginative action set-pieces and then there are the birds and they’re a very clever touch.

One of this book’s major strengths is that it features an assortment of colourful villains with mysterious motivations. There’s also an assortment of beautiful girls but whether they’re nice girls or evil girls is impossible to say.

Peter isn’t way out of his depth when it comes to dealing with these bizarre situations but he does have a well-developed instinct for self-preservation and a good deal of curiosity.

Exotic settings, fast pacing, solid plotting, hair’s-breadth escapes, crazed criminal masterminds and beautiful dangerous women - if these are the things you look for in a thriller you’ll find a great deal to enjoy in Zero Cool. Highly recommended.

I’ve reviewed lots of Michael Crichton’s books - Scratch One, Congo, The Terminal Man and The Andromeda Strain. I’m a major Crichton fan.

Mandrake the Magician Vol 1 1934-1936

I had only very dim memories of reading a few of the Mandrake the Magician comic-strips aeons ago. I had forgotten that Mandrake is not a stage magician. He possesses actual magical powers. And he does not rely merely on hypnotism. This is a collection of the earliest strips from the mid-1930s. I believe the character changed somewhat in later strips.

One weakness here is that Mandrake’s magical powers are much too formidable. When a character has such immense powers it can encourage lazy writing - any plot problems are solved simply by utilising one of Mandrake’s countless magical powers. That weakness is partly compensated for in the first adventure by giving the villain equally extensive powers, but it would still have been more fun if Mandrake had to use his wits a bit more instead of just constantly resorting to magic.

The first story is The Cobra. The Cobra is an evil super-magician with ambitions that put most regular super-villains to shame. And he has a castle from which sunlight is banished and it has a mad scientist’s laboratory in the basement. He’s into evil science as well as evil magic.

The Coba has obtained secret documents that could plunge the world into war. Inspector Sheldon of the U.S. Secret Service, his assistant Tommy Lord and Sheldon’s daughter Barbara set sail for the Orient, their destination a small strategically vital sheikhdom. Those papers must be retrieved. Mandrake and his servant Lothar will be helping out as well.

The Cobra is a formidable opponent and his castle is protected by spells that will make Mandrake’s magic useless. It all seems hopeless but Mandrake does not give up easily. At least this story pits Mandrake against a suitably daunting adversary.

The second story, The Hawk, introduces us to the beautiful, mysterious and possibly dangerous Princess Narda. The Hawk is a master criminal. He fears that Mandrake has discovered the plot in which he is currently involved. Mandrake must therefore be eliminated.

Mandrake’s limitless magical powers are a problem in this story. The Hawk is just a regular thug. He doesn’t stand a chance against Mandrake’s powers and the result is never in doubt. Princess Narda is at least an interesting seductive bad girl but it’s otherwise a dull story.

The Monster of Tanov Pass is more interesting. Mandrake is in central Europe and in a remote castle he encounters not a vampire but a mad scientist, and his monster. He’s been up to the usual mad scientist tricks, performing brain transplants. His monster, named Klage, is a gorilla with a human brain.

This time the bad guy gets a lucky break when Mandrake gets knocked unconscious and Lothar has to try to deal with Klage using brute force. A better story with an interesting monster.

Saki, the Clay Camel takes Mandrake to Arabia where he matches wits against a master thief, Saki. Saki, like Mandrake, is a master of disguise. The overuse of disguise is always a weakness in a story but in this case the two adversaries don’t even require skill or imagination - they just assume disguises instantaneously. Since this tale relies entirely on the use of disguise it doesn’t really provide any great interest or excitement.

The Werewolf is more promising. A pretty young woman named Lora lives with her strange old uncle and her surly cousin. The region is being terrorised by a werewolf. Lora is beside herself with fear. Mandrake is sceptical of the werewolf story from the start. This is by far the best story in the collection. Mandrake actually has to think things through. The plot has some clever and amusing twists and there’s at least some suspense.

I believe that Mandrake’s magical powers were curtailed somewhat in the later years of the strip.

Mandrake the Magician in this early form at least has some claims to being the first comic-strip superhero. If you’re a fan of superhero comic-strips then you’ll enjoy this collection a lot more than I did. If, like me, you’re not a fan of comic-book superheroes then, like me, you might be a bit underwhelmed. But this was a hugely influential comic strip and it does have historical importance. It’s just not quite my cup of tea.

Patrick Hamilton’s Hangover Square

Patrick Hamilton’s Hangover Square was published in 1941.

Patrick Hamilton (1904-1962) was an English novelist and playwright. He enjoyed some success before self-destructing with alcohol.

Hangover Square is his most famous novel. It was adapted to film in 1945.

While Hamilton clearly had literary aspirations Hangover Square is also a crime novel, falling into the psychological crime novel sub-genre. I have to be honest and say that this is not one of my favourite sub-genres.

Critics get very excited by the idea that this is some kind of political novel offering social commentary and an examination of a society on the brink of war. This is mostly poppycock. The novel is focused entirely and obsessively on the inner workings of its protagonist. The approach of war is there in the background but really plays no significant part in the novel. Maybe Hamilton thought he was saying something important about English society in the late 30s but what he has to say is fairly trite.

In the 1940s there was a huge craze for dubious pop psychology and half-baked Freudianism, all rather laughable but they did provide the raw material for some insanely enjoyable movies.

At the time people thought of schizophrenia and “split personality” as being the same thing. Split personality later became known as dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder. This is where a person has two or more distinct personalities. That’s assuming that this disorder actually exists, which is doubtful to say the least. I suspect that Hamilton read a magazine article about it and thought it would be a cool subject for a novel. In the novel it just doesn’t come across as being truly convincing.

Added to which, the protagonist’s main problem is that he spends his entire life in an alcohol haze which is why he falls for a woman who is clearly going to make his life a misery. Perhaps the author would have been better off focusing either on the split personality thing or the protagonist’s alcohol-induced errors of judgment.

George Harvey Bone is a lonely 34-year-old alcoholic loser. He also has some kind of mental disorder which causes him to switch back and forth between two different personalities. He thinks of these as his ordinary moods and his dead moods. When he switches personalities he has no memory of anything the other personality has done. Both personalties are however sad alcoholic losers.

And in both personality modes George is in love with a gorgeous floozy named Netta. In his dead moods he plans to kill her.

His whole relationship with Netta is a disaster right fro the start and in fact there is no actual relationship. Netta is using him at various times when it suits her convenience. Due to a combination of booze, his naïveté in regard to women, his social ineptitude and his desperation he cannot figure out that he should run way from Netta as fast as he can. Instead he keeps crawling back to get kicked again.

George is so hopeless and lacking in self-respect that it’s hard to feel any sympathy for him. The story plays out as black comedy rather than tragedy. That was presumably the author’s intention but it’s so cruel that it’s unpleasant reading.

I can see why this would be the kind of book that literary critics would go for. I found it to be a bit of a mess and a bit of a slog to get through. Your mileage may vary.

J.J. Allerton’s Moon of Battle

J.J. Allerton’s science fiction novel Moon of Battle originally appeared in Amazing Stories in December 1949. Allerton is a very obscure writer about whom I know nothing.

There are many ways in which the heroes of fiction novels travel to other planets. Pratt, the hero of this book, travels to the Moon in a truck. A big 18-wheeler.

Well actually he’s driving to Phoenix and then the transmission fails and he almost crashes rounding a steep curve, and suddenly he’s on the Moon.

Even given the limited knowledge of the Moon in 1949 this story is pretty fanciful. The Moon is inhabited. Some of the inhabitants are rather strange, some are so big that they’re almost giants and some seem to be essentially human.

One thing the author does know about the Moon is that it has very low gravity, and he makes good and frequent use of this.

The giant he encounters first tries to kill him but they soon become fast friends.

And then there’s the girl. There has to be a girl. Her name is Maeri. She isn’t wearing much in the way of clothing. Pratt thinks she’s a swell girl.

Of course her father is some of tribal chieftain. There are many lunar societies, all of them at very primitive technological levels. And it seems like a major war on conquest my be about to get under way. Pratt has to get involved because, as I said, Maeri is a swell girl. He can’t let anything bad happen to her. Maeri’s brother and other members of the tribe are preparing to face the threat on invasion by the Hammers.

Of course Pratt and his pals are captured and they have to face the horrors of the pot. Which is not a cooking pot. Well, not exactly.

There’s lots of crazy stuff to come. Allerton throws everything but the kitchen sink into the mix and maybe it doesn’t all make sense but it keeps the reader on his toes.

The odds are stacked against Pratt except for one thing - he still has his truck. And the gas tank is full. A truck-driving man is never beaten as long as he still has his truck. And even the boldest space aliens get nervous when faced by a huge 18-wheeler. The truck is no gimmick. It’s an absolutely essential ingredient in the story.

The pacing is brisk and there are betrayals and things are not necessarily what they seem. These are pretty basic ingredients for a science fiction tale but Allerton handles them competently enough.

This book’s biggest flaw is its biggest strength. The idea of a guy suddenly appearing on the surface of the Moon at the wheel of a big ole semi-trailer is definitely goofy and dumb. And at the same time it’s pretty darn cool.

Pratt is a cool unflappable tough guy hero. He’s not taking any nonsense from a bunch of weird space aliens.

Of course he and Maeri will fall for each other. This romance angle could have been fleshed out a bit more.

There’s nothing startling here but it’s reasonably enjoyable in a very pulpy way and one can’t help thinking that there should have been more truckers in space science fiction stories. Recommended as long as you’re not setting your expectations too high.

Armchair Fiction have paired this title with Murray Leinster’s The Mutant Weapon in a two-novel paperback edition.

Georgette Heyer’s Regency Buck

Georgette Heyer’s Regency Buck was published in 1935 and is of course a romance novel. What am I doing reading, and reviewing, a romance novel? Men don’t read romance novels. The fact is though that if one is interested in vintage pop fiction one can hardly ignore such a notable and popular genre altogether. And Regency Buck has considerable historical importance to students of genre fiction. It marked the beginning of an entire genre, the Regency Romance. 

It is also interesting in that it actually combines two genres, the romance novel and the mystery novel. Heyer wrote many romance novels and many mystery novels and on occasions combined the two.

I have to say that this novel is not at all what I expected. Which of course probably reflects that not having read any romance fiction I had all kinds of prejudices and preconceived notions about the genre.

Not one bodice gets ripped. There are no heaving bosoms. This is more like Jane Austen, but (interestingly) with a lot less actual romance. This is a tale of a young woman’s adventures and misadventures in London in 1812 (we can date it precisely because the first two cantos of Byron’a Childe Harold had just been published).

Miss Judith Taverner and her brother Sir Peregrine Taverner have just inherited vast fortunes and have decided to leave Yorkshire and set out for the bright lights of the big city. They hope to make a splash in the world of fashionable society in London.

Initially it appears that Judith’s hopes will be dashed. She is hopelessly provincial. She does not understand the niceties and subtleties of the world of fashion. She makes one social faux pas after another. It seems hopeless until Beau Brummell (who was of course in real life the ultimate arbiter of taste in Regency England) takes her in hand. He realises that there is no hope of persuading her to follow the rules. Instead he encourages her to behave even more eccentrically. Maybe she cannot follow fashion but she can instead lead fashion. It works. She is a sensation. Of course it helps that she is a statuesque blonde beauty possessed of a vast fortune. Soon she is inundated with offers of marriage.

There is the problem of Lord Worth, her guardian (and Peregrine’s guardian). Judith thinks he is the most odious disagreeable provoking man she has ever met. He is also domineering and it is obvious that he intends to assert his authority over her. No man has ever done that. At the same she is excited by the challenge and also fascinated by Lord Worth.

Peregrine on the other hand spends his time losing a fortune at the gaming tables. He is a likeable but foolish young man.

Judith has to deal with irritatingly determined suitors. She has an encounter with the Prince Regent and escapes with her virtue intact (which is quite an achievement).

And something else is going on, something that would horrify Judith if she knew about. Since it is intended to come as a surprise to the reader I am going going to offer any hints about it.l

The problem with any kind of historical fiction is that it always reflects the outlook and the preoccupations, and the psychology, of the period in which the book was written rather than the period in which the book is set. It is almost impossible (indeed it may be completely impossible) for the characters not to be to some extent contemporary characters wearing period costume. 

But unlike today’s writers of historical fiction, who deliberately give their characters 21st century social attitudes, Heyer does try very hard to make her characters representative of their period.

What can also be said of Heyer is that she made an extraordinary effort to get the minor details right. She did immense quantities of research on the social customs, the fashions and the way of life of her chosen periods. Of course an actual writer of that era would simply have taken it for granted that her readers know all the minutiae of everyday life and would have omitted many such details. Heyer, realising that her readers would not have an obsessively complete knowledge of such things, makes a point of telling us all those details. What’s impressive is her ability to do this without ever seeming to be offering the reader clumsy infodumps. She seamlessly integrates the background details into the story. She also demonstrates her knowledge of some surprising subjects, such as prize-fighting and cock-fighting.

I think most women will enjoy Regency Buck although if you’re looking for wild steamy passion you might be disappointed. But there is a love story here and it’s a good one. I can’t speak for all male readers but I enjoyed the book. Heyer’s prose is lively and witty and she has the ability to bring the world of Regency England vividly to life. Highly recommended.

I’ve also reviewed Heyer’s clever amusing detective novel Death in the Stocks.

The Ring-A-Ding UFOs by Robert Tralin

The Ring-A-Ding UFOs, published in 1967, is the third of the Miss from S.I.S. spy thrillers by Robert Tralins. It fits roughly into the “sexy lady spy” sub-genre (a sub-genre I adore) although the sexiness here is very very restrained indeed. The emphasis is on fast-paced goofy fun.

Lee Crossley is ostensibly a travel writer but she’s actually a secret agent, working for S.I.S., an all-female international counter-intelligence agency. With her sidekick David Dudley she’s investigating an old Spanish fortress in Florida. S.I.S. has no idea what is going on in this fortress but they suspect it’s something sinister. Lee and David will have to get inside but first they’ll need to dodge the crocodiles. Crocodiles, not alligators, which puzzles Lee.

Our two daring spies are disabled by a barrage of unearthly noise and Lee finds herself sliding down a long damp fleshy tube (yes there could be a bit of symbolism here).

Of course there’s a mad scientist. In fact something more sinister and terrifying than a mere mad scientist - a mad evil psychiatrist. The old fortress is now a mental hospital but the patients aren’t being cured. It’s possible they’re subjects of a hideous experiment and there may be aliens behind it. And yes, there may be UFOs.

There’s definitely something nasty in the swimming pool.

Luckily Lee has plenty of gadgetry with her. Deadly lipsticks, hairbrush communicators, that sort of thing. And a life-saving bra. One of the things I’ve learnt from reading so many sexy lady spy thrillers is that lady spies always have something interesting concealed in their bras. And in the case of some fictional lady spies, in their panties as well.

Apart from aliens and UFOs this story also involves brainwashing. Brainwashing intended to be on a very large scale.

Lee and Dudley get captured repeatedly but they’re not easy to keep hold of when you’ve caught them.

There’s quite a bit of exciting action but no graphic violence.

There’s no nudity or sex at all.

This book is obviously not taking itself too seriously. The plot has plenty of wild craziness. It’s a spoof, but there is a reasonable spy thriller plot here. And there will definitely be plot twists.

There’s a suitably insane mad scientist chief villain but he has a few weaknesses. He’s rather attracted to pretty young ladies and his judgment is a bit touch and go in that area.

Tralins keeps things moving along at a breakneck pace.

The Ring-A-Ding UFOs is pure entertainment and it’s highly recommended.

I’ve also reviewed the second book in this series, The Chic Chick Spy (which I enthusiastically recommend), as well as a fairly interesting SF novel by Tralins, The Cosmozoids.

Fans of sexy lady spies might like to check out some more of my reviews. James Eastwood’s The Chinese Visitor is the first of his enjoyable Anna Zordan spy novels. Lust, Be a Lady Tonight kicks off the very sexy but very entertaining The Lady from L.U.S.T. series. And Jimmy Sangster's Touchfeather is a total delight. And for fans of sexy spy thrillers in general there’s Clyde Allison's outrageous Gamefinger (Man From Sadisto 6).